If I have come to realize anything through planning and preparing for Africa and now starting the process again with a whole new destination and group of people, it's that that Lord likes to just dump things on you. I mean, I feel like for the majority of my life, God has been like, "Oh Larissa, its good to see you. I would love for you to work on A, B, and C, and then I am going to throw a few little things your way here and there but I'll space them out really nicely and you won't be overwhelmed or anything. In fact, it will really feel like you aren't learning anything until you turn around and use that hindsight of yours." You know, its that constant trickle of things you deal with and learn from. Yeah, that's not the case. Its like a stinking down pour over here. Like a constant hot shower, full force, raging. I must be pretty dirty to need such a long shower.

Oh and I know I am. That's the other thing I am learning right now. I am a stinking wretch. I know nothing. I am nothing. I just mess things up all the time. Its a good thing my God has a lot of grace and forgiveness for me. I couldn't do any of this without Him. In fact, I would be totally insane without Him.

And so, without further ado, the Life Lessons of Larissa, Sent from God:

1.) You have no idea what God has in store for your life.

Yeah I mentioned this one before but I have no idea where the Lord wants me to go. Read up in that blog and you'll know what I mean.

2.) You are a wonderful person but you are nowhere near complete and are a constant work in progress.

Yeah, work in progress. Ugh. I feel like anything I have confidence in, like my leadership ability or any skills I have in relating with people are in a current state of construction. I guess that it is mostly just me learning what those things are. Like, how do I lead a group of 10 people who are so different from each other and myself? How do I get to know them in a way that is not cheapened by the fact that I am trying to learn to love 10 people all at once and how do I balance being vulnerable and still keeping their trust that a messed up person as myself can still lead. And can I? Can someone so imperfect and broken still lead a team?

3.) Larissa, you suck at listening.

Uh, thanks God. But I know I do. Its been really interesting to watch the Lord as He brings all these people into my life who either need someone to care about them, to listen to them, to love them, or to just plain be with them. I have come to realize that I am often in a conversation to share my incredible wisdom with them and while I do feel that the Lord gives me wisdom to share with others, I was getting so absorbed by that. I can't just be in a conversation, poised and waiting to vomit some wisdom on the unsuspecting person in front of me. How well do I fully understand the situation before I just jump in and save the day? Am I asking questions and digging deeper or am I just waiting to take back control of the conversation? How many times do I jump in and share a similar story of mine or go strait to the "Me too, and let me tell you about it..." without fully trying to understand if the person is telling me so someone will say "Me too" or because they need someone to really listen. Don't get me wrong, I know the power of the "Me too" phrase, I mean, I go to Flatirons, but sometimes, telling someone your own story makes it look like you never really heard theirs. So Yeah, talk about struggle. I am just learning so much more about this. Maybe I'll go into it more in a later post.

4.) I need you to love the person right in front of you.

A good friend of mine told me this was what he was working on this semester and I realized how much I need to work on it to. I am so quick to get through a meeting or an encounter with someone so that I can move on to someone else or more often then not "me time", but I have come to see how much I was missing out on. I decided to give this You-are-in-front-of-me-so-I-want-to-love-you-and-really-listen-to-you-for-as-long-as-you-need-thing a try and I have got to tell you, its incredible. Its hard and its a struggle but I have never been more blessed by conversations and relationships in my life. Praise God for His work there. Keep it up, Big Man, keep it up.

Yeah, I could go on, but this post is stinking long as it is and I'll let you get back to work... or facebook stalking, most likely. If you want to be praying for the above mentioned lessons I am struggling though, that would be cool. But if you want to get together and challenge me to ask you questions, love you fully, and learn to lead you better, I think practicing these things could help.

:)

Thanks for reading.

Now go do something useful with your life...