I know teaching isn't all about teaching. Its way more about learning. But sometimes the lesson hurts a little.

So, let me put this simply. I had my key during passing period before 4th and when I went to clear out of the classroom after 5th my heart plummeted as I couldn't find my key. This key not only gets me into the classrooms I teach in but every door in the science wing including the storerooms where the chemicals are kept. Now I didn't panic because I assumed I left it in the staff bathroom and so I preceded to do a little detective work. After checking with teachers and even giving it three days to surface, my key was still no where to be found. My optimism was officially dead and so I went to tell my principal of my irresponsibility. I walked away from that conversation with tears in my eyes and that same shame that you get when you realize you disappointed Daddy. It was awful. After a few tears I pulled myself together and taught some kids about air pressure.

After school on Thursday I was in the Science office and a key appeared before my face. And not just any key, but MY KEY! The head science teacher was given the key by the principal who got it from an English teacher. The relief was so overwhelming it hurt a little. Hurt so good.

So as it turns out, some girl found the key in her back pack, gave it to her English teacher and told the teacher she had no idea what they were or how they got there. Sounds like some sneaky little freshman likes to play games. Monday morning's to-do-list includes further investigation. I will report back to you when I know more.

So the good feeling of having my key back kept me in high spirits. My fellow teachers were also feeling good enough to make a two foot long replica of my key out of cardboard, affix it to a lanyard, and stick it on my desk. In marker it says "If found, please return to Larissa Harder." And lets just say I have heard every play on words that include keys or unlocking doors. Its a good think I like the people I work with or else I would retaliate.

Ya, Miss H learned a thing or two about a thing or two this week. Let me list them for you:
     1. Don't trust high schoolers. They are sneaky.
     2. Don't disappoint your principal. It may mean your job. Or running mascara.
     3. Science teachers in general have good senses of humor. And they are obnoxious.
     4. Despite the drama, I still really love my job and high schoolers in general.

There ya go. Life in TeacherLand is anything but boring. And I sure am learning a lot!

Ya, so apparently Ms Harder is just too much for most kids to either remember or handle. I mean, I know what an extra syllable does to kids these days. But to tell you the truth, I think Miss H is kinda cute.

And besides, I freaking love teaching high school. I mean, the kids are ornerier and unfortunately their parents have also learned to work the system a little more but on a day to day basis, I think its great.

My freshman are really fun and for the most part, they know their stuff. My sophmores are great too. While a majority of them act like 7 year olds, they bring a little spice to my life.  My colleagues are wonderful and have been huge helps to me. They all seem so willing to walk along side me a help me out when I need it.

And then to top it all off, my first full week at school gets cut short by a snow day. Frigid temperatures never felt so good.

I love my job! :)

So, I was supposed to start teaching earth science at the high school next Monday. Turns out the assistant principal who was leaving for Iraq wasn't leaving at all for a while and they were still sorting out a lot of things. He found out this week he is now leaving on a different assignment. He leaves this weekend which means I start tomorrow.

Yup, that's right. Tomorrow.

Oh. My. Word.

So, pray for me. Because I have no idea whats going on. All I know is I am showing up at 6:30 tomorrow and shadowing for the day. On Thursday, the class is mine.

Im not scared. Or really all that nervous. I am excited but worried about finances. I was supposed to work at Old Navy tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday but I had to get those shifts covered. That pay check was supposed to pay my bills in Feburary while I have a lag time with pay checks. The way it works out, I teach all through Feburary but I don't get paid until the last working day of the month. So I have to figure out where gas and bill money comes from for the month. Its going to be crazy tight and stressful but I am REALLY looking forward to that first paycheck that will be worth more then I lived off of for two or three monthes here lately. I know God will provide and He will make a way. I just hope I can continue to trust and find that path.

So ya, my alarm will be going off at 4:30 in the morning and while it wont be music to my ears exactly, it will be the sound of a new beginning.

So ya, pray for me. :)

Ya, not really in the wings... it just felt right to say that. :)

But the point is, I am waiting. I will start that subbing job here on the 31st of January and until then I find myself often slipping into a daydream of sorts where I am stressed to the max and yelling at hormonal, sassy, difficult high schoolers. I usually snap back to reality, shudder a little, and move on. But I really am a little nervous for what this semester has in store for me. I feel like I am about to be taken through the ringer.

And you know what? While that frightens the pants right off me, it also makes me excited. I don't know what God is doing with me right now. To be honest, we are in this little land of limbo and I'm not sure what to do with it. But because of certain situations, and to be totally honest, financial stressors, I can't stray too far from the Lord. I can't. I am just too dependent on Him. And I am just overcome with thankfulness just about daily for His provision and love and most of all mercy. Even in these rough patches in my faith, when I have very little reason to burry my head in the shoulder of the Lord, I still feel Him walking beside me, guiding me, providing for me, loving me more than anything imaginable. What a crazy, crazy God.

And so while I sit in this waiting room, waiting for everything to hit the fan, I can't help but stand firm in the fact that no matter what comes my way, God is with me. He is my strength, my rock, my light. I praise Him for his provisions and guidance.

And so with that said, I say, "Bring it on, high schoolers. Bring. It. On!"

Yup, thats right. You are now looking at (or rather the blog of) the newest high school science teacher.

Yup, its official, I sweet talked my way into my first big girl job and I feel great.

Now its time to shop for big girl teacher clothes. Yay!

So its official, I am no longer a student teacher.

Today was my last day at school with the kids and it was bitter-sweet as I am sure you expected. I spent the week out on field trips with a group of kids where we went to each of the six elementary schools that feed into the middle school to get students pumped about science and going to our middle school instead of the other one in town. Basically, I sat back and watched as kids did several different science experiments that they found or came up with and had been practicing all semester. The kids did awesome and it was fun to see them interact with the fifth and sixth graders that we hung out with. I wont mention the desk we burned a whole in, the rooms we filled with smoke and the smell of fried pickles, or the tables we stained with iodine. Ya, some interesting stories there but I will say this, I did everything in my power to prevent the previously listed damages and will simply say, "Ya, that's science for ya..."

It was a great week to be in the school a bit but not really in the classroom. I think it helped the kids transition out and back to their normal teacher. But today I was back with them. We spent each period listening to a few students present on their science experiments that they designed as part of a big at-home project and then we stuffed our faces with cake, cookies, dounts, pop, and other less-than-healthy items that they students bought and made for me. Its not like I really need a good reason to indulge but I will admit, all I wanted for dinner tonight was a salad. With as little calories, sugar, and fat as absolutely possible. I think I hit my sugar quota for the decade. It was AWESOME.

The food was great but getting to say goodbye and spend on last day with my students was good. I received a couple of cards and even a couple gifts and the students were very sweet today. I felt very appreciated and while that isn't why I am doing what I am doing, it sure feels good to have students react that way. I told my teacher about the cards and she told me to make sure I put them in my "Happy Box." She showed me her box, which is pink with little white polka dots, that has all the letters she has received from students, staff members, and parents that are encouraging that sit in the box and wait for the enevitable day when the walls come crashing down and she needs a reminder as to why she chose this rediculous profession in the first place. Don't worry. I have already begun forming ideas for my own "Happy Box." I have a feeling I will need those reminders too.

As for the future, it sounds like I will again be blessed with much more than I deserve. I haven't heard anything officially but my supervisor told me a little bird told her that the people at the high school that I interviewed with were very impressed with me. It sounds like things are moving in the right direction for me to take the science position over there in Feburary just as long as all the financial issues get ironed out and such. I will be sure to let you all know if I hear of anything final but in the mean time, its back to folding shirts at Old Navy. I wish I could say I was excited but I will settle for the fact that I am looking forward to having a paycheck again with so much enthusiasm it may kill me and I am incredibly thankful to have a job to go back to there. My bosses have been incredible to me so while going back is a little tough, I am very appreciative to even have a job.

So ya, its hard to put into words what it feels like to be ending such a monumental chapter in my life. Maybe it hasn't quite sunk in yet but I don't feel any different. Perhaps in a few days when  I am not waking up when it feels (and looks) like the middle to the night to shower and commute to school I will finally start to feel like I accomplished something great, like surviving... and making it look good. Until then, I am just winding down from the student induced sugar rush from today.

So if you havent yet, go grab a healthy salad and a slice of something sweet. Oh come on, think of it as a little celebration with me! I will keep ya posted on things so stay tuned.

Take care!

So, now that Thanksgiving is over (well, sorta over... the leftovers are haunting me...) it's now time for the marvelous Christmas season. I love Christmas time: the lights, the snow, the family traditions. So great.

Christmas has always had a little bit of a downside, though, because the cold weather is just such the prime time for cuddling and I always felt that, while I always had so much love around me, I felt like I was missing something. And this Christmas season, I have someone to spend it with and I couldn't be more excited to experience it with someone. And not just someone, but the Love of My Life.

I spent Thanksgiving with Eric's family this past Thursday because my family dinners aren't the same when my brothers are on opposite ends of the country. It was fun to spend time with his family and I felt like I was one of them. Its like I snuggle right in to my little niche in his family and it makes me feel so... good. I even made pie... delicious pie and I think that helped seal the deal. :)

And then this evening I talked holiday traditions with Eric's mom Peggy and it just made me so excited for all this month has to offer. My expectations are high but in a good way. I am eager and loving every minute of it.

But before I can get to the good stuff, I have to survive two more weeks of school. It seems so crazy to be so far in but I think the rest might kill me. Ok, no, its not nearly that bad. It will definitely be bitter-sweet to be done because I will miss my kids and teacher a whole lot but I think I will just have to visit if I can.

I know this post seems a little pointless but whatev. Get over it. :)

Ya, that's all.